Beating Hearts and Broken Thoughts
by ForgettablySilent
Summary: How can I live, how can I breathe... without him, I can't breathe... my lungs are clogged, and I'm dying, I can't breathe without the beating of his heart. .o.o.o. OC BASED. SHORT CHAPTERS.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this is an original character... it does take place in the Fullmetal Alchemist world, but it is also an original character. More of the main characters of the story will come in like, in the way later chapters, but this is it for now.**

**Chapters are extremely short, I apologise for that. It's just the way this character thinks.**

**Please enjoy.**

The car would be silent if it weren't for the pouring rain just outside the window. It's been raining on and off for days, and we are in the middle of a storm. Thunder echoes every so often, with flashes of lightning following after, and the rain keeps falling. I can hardly see out the windows, and Daerek drives carefully. Because he is deaf, his eyesight is stronger than most, but it is not unconquerable. I can see how tense he is in his shoulders, which are raised slightly, hunched over the steering wheel.

He never hears or minds it, and so I reach out and turn on the radio. It crackles and I look up, just in time to see a pair of headlights headed straight for us. I open my mouth in a silent scream and Daerek jerks the steering wheel to the side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for taking so long; I have literally no free time... **

**anyways, thanks for the one fave! If you like this you should check out my fictionpress account; I have much better writings there, and it's under the same account name. *shameless self-advertising***

**sorry for the short chapters, too, but I'll dump multiple ones today to make up for it.**

We do not crash. The other driver blares his horn as he zooms past, and Daerek tries to regain control over our car, as it fishtails wildly. He could have, if it had been any other day. If the streets weren't flooded. As it is, soon the car is uncontrollable. He fights it, but we flip over the hill.

We soar through the air for a few ghastly moments, and then the car falls on its side, my side. It tumbles upside down, on Daerek's side, and back into the air. Daerek is screaming loudly and I'm clutching onto my door for dear life, my eyes shut tight and mouth open wide. We hit the earth again and my jaw's jammed shut. Blood fills my mouth as I bite down on my tongue. Another flip, and then, finally, we tumble to a stop. Everything is silent, save the ringing in my ears.


	3. Chapter 3

The car is upside down. My leg is caught between the crushed passenger door and my chair. I pull myself free and almost cry at the pain. My leg has been miserably broken; I can see the bone. I bite my lip and clap my hands, activating my healing alchemy. If I had a voice I'd scream; it's miserable to feel the bone pop back into place. I don't stop the transmutation until my skin is clear. My head is foggy, which means I probably have a concussion, and I have several smaller cuts, but I can let those heal naturally, without fear. Having tended to the worst of my injuries, I look to Daerek.

Instantly I freeze, my body filling with horror. He is limp, his head hanging out at an impossible angle. His eyes are wide, the dark irises blank and unseeing. I pray, please, this isn't happening! Again I clap, and my automail pops loudly—I've damaged it. Slowly, I heal my boyfriend, my lover. His neck clicks loudly as his head snaps into place, and I wince, biting my lip forcefully.

His eyes are still empty. My own are brimming with tears, almost impossible to control. I shift, and broken glass digs into my skin, as I move closer to him. Shakily I place a hand against his chest.

There is no heartbeat.

I close my eyes and take a shuddering breath. Move closer to him and bury my body against his unfeeling chest. I'm curled tight against the glass and the rain. The door on my side is bent, impossible to open, and I wouldn't dare move Daerek to reach his side. I can't crawl out the window in my state, and I'm not good at any alchemy except healing. I'm stuck.

My state… I snap to attention, my hands flying to my stomach. My heart pounds in fear, heartbreaking dread, until finally I feel a kick. I start shaking, biting back unbearable tears. I could never imagine my fate would end up like this.


	4. Chapter 4

There is no heartbeat. I've lain against him for a long time now. Nothing's there. He's so cold. Daerek is the one who's supposed to wrap his arms around me. He makes everything bright and okay. This isn't possible; nothing could bring him down! He's strong…undefeatable. I don't understand.


	5. Chapter 5

Where does the soul go when a person dies, anyways? Somewhere beyond the Gate, I suppose… But is there a Heaven, or a Hell? Perhaps Daerek's with my sister. It's so pathetic; I'm already trying to think of a way to drag him back, despite the fact I know this is impossible. If no one finds me, maybe I will get to join them. Better than staying here. I haven't been alone for so long. I don't think I can bear going through that again.

Why can't I find a heartbeat?


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so tired. The rain still pours around us. What a merciless storm. Perhaps if I fall asleep, lightning will strike and fry me, my final punishment from God. Or maybe I'll awake in bed, happy and relieved to find Daerek safe and alive.


	7. Chapter 7

A bright, cold light sweeps over me, snapping me awake. I cover my eyes with my arm, and a voice shouts. "Someone's alive in there! Get over here and help me!"

Moments later an alchemist creates a hole in the car, dragging me out. There's a black military vehicle—these are police. I turn away from them, reaching back into the depths of the ruined car for Daerek. He'll be so upset; his ride is ruined.

One of the men tries to stop me, grabbing my shoulder. I shrug him off and he pulls me closer to himself. What's he stopping me for? I struggle harder, and he restrains me, his hands holding my arms still. "Relax, miss, we'll get him out. Don't worry about it. You need a hospital; please come with me."


	8. Chapter 8

They asked if I had any relatives.

I gave them Jack's number.


	9. Chapter 9

"Please, lay down," says the doctor. I stay in my position, seated on the edge of the hospital bed. My legs dangle in the air, the dried blood on the cuts, making me ugly. My hands, one metal and one flesh, sit useless in my lap, and I stare at them.

"I said lay down. What are you, deaf?" The doctor says, and puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to force me. I snatch out quickly, my automail arm releasing a series of loud clicks as I grab his arm and squeeze. He yelps at the painful pressure and releases me. I show him the same courtesy.

He takes care of my wounds without making me lie down. But I don't need his help.

At least I have a heartbeat.


	10. Chapter 10

They're trying to be quiet, but I can still hear them. The doctor is telling Jack about my concussion, and my cuts, and saying that I'm lucky, because it could have been so much worse. How much worse could it be? Daerek has no heartbeat. It feels as though my lungs have been taken away.

The doctor and Jack walk in, and Jack rushes to my side. "I called Dante." He says. "He'll be here as soon as he can. Are you okay?"

I stare at my hands, so limp in my lap. What does it matter if Dante comes? Dante isn't Daerek, and he can't bring him back. Daerek and I were going to be forever, and now my life is nothing more than a series of broken hearts.

"Julia?" Jack asks. His voice reverberates in my skull, loud and echoing. "C'mon, please talk to me?" That's funny. _Talk_. If I could talk, I'd have been found hours ago. It wouldn't be past midnight and I wouldn't have had to feel Daerek's body grow colder and colder. I can't speak. I'm mute, so I'll never speak so long as I live.

"Julia." Jack begs. I raise my hands. The automail arm pops with every little motion, and the gears are unwilling, stiff. I almost can't form the words my fingers try to spell.

_He's dead, Jack._


	11. Chapter 11

"She can go ahead and go." The doctor tells Jack. "All you have to do is sign her out."

Jack nods, turns to me. "Shall we go?" I don't answer. My eyes are trained on my lap, my flesh thumb rubbing my stomach in tiny circles.

"C'mon, Julia, why won't you talk to me?" Jack sighs.

"She hasn't moved from that position since she got here." The doctor unfeelingly mentions. "I'll be surprised if you can get her to."

Jack sighs again and stands, pulling me into his arms. I don't struggle, but I don't help him either, hanging in his grip as he holds me. I am as dead as Daerek. The only sign of life is the kicking in my stomach and the beating of my broken heart.

Jack carries me home without ever realizing he's holding a corpse.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for taking so long to update XD AP keeps me busy.**

I curl up on the couch, in the corner. I'm a tight ball, a rock that won't be moved. In this position, I am small, easily overlooked. Maybe God will overlook me, and forget to keep punishing me. I am world-weary, and even as Jack is telling me I should rest, I am fading asleep.

* * *

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_ Someone pounds on the front door, insistently loud. I cannot keep sleeping like this, but everything hurts. I want it to go away. I just want to sleep. The unconscious state hurts so much less.

Jack walks past me and into the hall, and opens the door.

"Is she okay?" Dante's voice fills the air. "She isn't too hurt, is she?" He sounds worried. Scared.

"Nice to see you too." Jack answers my brother. "She's in the living room. But don't bother her too much, I think she might be asleep."


	13. Chapter 13

Dante pulls me into a tight hug, nearly dragging me out of my safe corner. "I heard what happened," he whispers, and his body shakes. He's crying, maybe, or trying not to. He has ill memories of loved ones dying, I know. "I'm so sorry. It's not fair to you."

I don't answer, hanging limp in his grip until he lets me go. He looks down at me with a bittersweet smile. "You can be upset, you know. You deserve to cry." I don't want to, and so I curl up and turn away from him. He shouldn't pretend to know what I'm feeling. No one could ever know what this feels like.


	14. Chapter 14

Dante is staying until my child is born. That's only a little more than two months. I would give anything to trade him out for Daerek. No child should grow up without its father. No mother should grow up without her lover.


End file.
